


Do They Know It’s Christmas Time At All?

by Snafu07



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Presents, Epic Friendship, Fluff, Joyful, M/M, Merwin, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, learning to love Christmas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:00:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22222204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snafu07/pseuds/Snafu07
Summary: Eggsy and Merlin don’t exactly celebrate Christmas and it makes Roxy sad. She’s recruiting help to fix this grievous error.
Relationships: Merlin/Gary "Eggsy" Unwin
Comments: 9
Kudos: 38
Collections: 2019 Kingsman Stocking Stuffers





	Do They Know It’s Christmas Time At All?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [anarchycox](https://archiveofourown.org/users/anarchycox/gifts).



"Oh good Eggsy, you refilled your candy dish!" Agent Lancelot exclaimed from where she sat on the edge of her friend’s desk, helping herself to a selection of wrapped chocolates Agent Galahad kept there in a handmade bowl from his young sister. 

"I did Rox." Eggsy responded as he bent over his tablet, trying his best to complete paperwork whilst both his best friend and his boyfriend decided it was a good time for a social visit. "Someone managed to empty the whole thing while I was in Denmark earlier this week." 

"Whoever could that have been?" Merlin, their Quartermaster, accused in his dry humored way.

Roxy ignored them both in favor of eating more chocolate. "I like these. Reminds me of the chocolates you would get in an advent calendar as a child. I miss those. A treat to count down the month to Christmas. There should be an adult version. Don't you think?" She looked to Eggsy and Merlin for their agreement.

Eggsy looked up from his work and shrugged. 

Roxy was perplexed at his response and turned to Merlin. "Don't you remember the fun of those little calendars?"

Merlin shook his head. 

"Really? Neither of you remember them?"

Eggsy and Merlin shared a look. 

“I never had one Rox.” Eggsy admitted. He gave up on his work to spin his desk chair to better face his company.

“Neither did I.” Merlin offered. “I’m not sure I even know what they are.”

Roxy looked flabbergasted. “You don’t know what an advent calendar is?”

Merlin looked a tad offended. He was used to the younger agents believing he knew all, but Lancelot was bordering insult with her tone. “I obviously understand both calendars and the concept of advent. But I am unaware of what chocolates have to do with either.”

“Don’t look at me.” Eggsy offered, leaning back and putting his hands behind his head. “I’m not even sure what advent means.”

“There boxes with 24 doors. Behind each door is a chocolate. You open one a day for the 24 days of December to countdown to Christmas.” Roxy explained. “They range from the £ versions you can get at Boots or Poundland to the really fancy ones from the best chocolatiers.”

“Sounds fun, I should get Daisy one.” Eggsy acquiesced. “But I never had one.”

“Same.” Merlin added. “But I might recall some of my nieces and nephews having them.”

“Wow. Everyone had them growing up.” Roxy said. “I don’t mean to keep harping on it, but…”

Eggsy interrupted her. “You know Merlin and I, we grew up a good bit differently from you. Even before my dad died, money was tight. We crossed off days on normal paper calendar with a crayon. They saved their money for the three or four presents I would get on Christmas Day. I didn’t get those little extras.”

Their differences in situation appeared to sinking in for Roxy. “How about the fun little things in your stocking? I always looked forward to those almost as much as the big presents. The fancy candies, makeup, perfume? Any of that?” Roxy asks.

Merlin scoffed. “Sounds as though yer stocking stuffers cost more than my actual presents lass.”

Eggsy moved to sit on the arm of the overstuffed leather club chair that he had in his office for visitors. “A toothbrush? A mandarin orange. Maybe a quarter. That's what I got. Practical stuff.”

“But what about now? You have the money to put anything you like in each other’s stockings.” Roxy stared the two men down, fearful of what they were going to say.

“You’ve been to our place Rox. Do we hang stockings?”

Roxy grumbled. “You barely decorate.”

“Exactly. We don’t see the point. Ye know with the exception of Miss Daisy we keep Christmas simple.” That reminded Merlin that he needed to find where they had stashed Daisy’s little stocking from last year. They hadn’t hung it, just laid it on top of her gifts with a candy cane stuck in it. Maybe she would like it if they hung it this year?

Soon after, Roxy left Eggsy and Merlin feeling dispirited. Discovering that her two dear friends had grown up without the full pleasures of the season and even now that their situations had changed, still didn’t allow themselves to indulge… well it left her feeling dejected. She knew she had to do something.

>@<>@<>@<>@<>@<>@<

Roxy joined Agent Percival (Uncle Michael to her) and Arthur, aka Harry Hart, at her uncle’s house for tea on the following Sunday.

“We need to do something about Eggsy and Merlin.” She announced as Percival set down a beautiful three tiered tea tray artfully laid with biscuits, tea sandwiches, and mini cakes. It matched the teapot filled with a spring flush darjeeling and the dainty tea cups and saucers that were before each of them. It had been the set belonging to Roxy’s great grandmother, Percival’s grandmother, and she hoped it would be hers one day. Hoped and also dropped many hints to her favorite relative.

“Oh Lord, what did they do now?” Harry moaned; as he passed around the clotted cream and preserves. “As long as Merlin was able to delete the video footage, I don’t want to know.”

Roxy choked on her first sipfull of tea at Harry’s words and her uncle wordlessly passed her a cloth napkin. “No Arthur, not like last time. No inappropriate use of the flooding dorm room for sexual escapades. Which I assure you, it was. No matter how insistent Merlin was that he was encouraging Eggsy to practice holding his breath. No, it’s something more dire. We need to talk about their lack of holiday spirit. You really need to hear about the conversation we had this week.”

Roxy filled the two men in about the conversation of advent calendars and stocking gifts.

“Roxanne. I know the majority of your acquaintances have been of a certain social and economic standing.” Percival began, in a tone that reminded Roxy of being scolded as a child when she didn’t do a thorough enough job field stripping and cleaning her firearms. “But Agent Galahad and Merlin grew up in a decidedly different way of life. I know Eggsy has shared some of his past with you. Just as Merlin has shared with Harry and I.”

“That’s the problem Uncle Michael. Their lack of experience has led to them just not letting themselves enjoy the holidays.” Roxy explained. “And it’s pretty much breaking my heart.”

Harry reached across to pat her hand. “Am I to understand you are concerned for Eggsy and Merlin because they don’t celebrate Christmas?”

Roxy looked imploringly at him. “It’s more than just that they don’t celebrate. They don’t know the joy of the season and that’s why they don’t celebrate.”

“That is definitely a theory.” Percival admitted. He sipped his tea and studied his niece. “You said we had to do something about them. It’s obvious you wish to help. What is it you wish to do?”

Roxy slumped back in her chair. “I don’t know. That’s my problem. I can’t think of what to do. It’s not like I can force them to put up a tree and fill each other’s stockings. Forcing them won’t bring them joy. But I don’t know what will.”

They all sat silent in thought for long moments. The enjoyment of tiny delicacies the only exception.

“I may have an idea.” Harry began slowly. “If our theory is that having a month worth of the small joys of the holiday is what taught us all to be such devotees of Christmas; let’s give Merlin and Eggsy a month worth of small joys. Or as close to a month as we can. It’s the 8th of December. We have 16 days until Christmas. I say we leave some sort of small present or treat on their desks at work, stealthily of course, for each work day.”

Roxy’s expression turned into a bright smile. “That’s brilliant Arthur! Why didn’t I think of something like that? I kept going on about an advent calendar, this is perfect!”

“I agree Harry.” Percival nodded at his boss and niece. “Now what are some of our ideas for items?”

>@<>@<>@<>@<>@<>@<

The next morning Merlin arrived in his office bright and early to find a tall, skinny holiday themed gift bag of red and white stripes sitting next to his trio of monitors. He picked up his stylus and poked at the bag. It wouldn’t have made it this far in the building if it was truly dangerous; his sensors would have picked it up long before. But that didn’t mean it wasn’t something that was going to jump out at him as a joke the minute he opened it.

He tapped away at his tablet and watched the video footage to see the department secretary leaving the bag there.

Merlin poked his head out the door that led to the other members of the R&D. “Ms. Elliot?”

The young lady popped up from her desk and came over. “Yes. Merlin?”

“Good morning Anne.” Merlin’s practiced his civilities. “Did ye leave this bag on my desk?”

Anne nodded. “Yes, I did. It was in with your mail when I fetched all of the department’s mail this morning.”

“Do you know who left it?”

“No Merlin.”

“Thank ye Anne.”

He picked up his cell phone and called Eggsy, despite knowing he had left his boyfriend at the bullet train just 15 minutes ago. 

“I didn’t do it.” Eggsy said.

“Haha.” Merlin replied. “Did ye leave a booze gift bag in my mailbox?”

“What?” Eggsy asked.

“Did ye leave a tall, thin gift bag intended to hold a bottle of alcohol in my mailbox?” Merlin asked speaking much slower.

Eggsy was silent for a long moment. “Nope.”

That silence was all he needed to hear. It was Eggsy. “Alright, thank ye Galahad.”

Eggsy let out a sigh of relief. “No problem Merlin. Can I go back to making my cuppa?”

Merlin could hear the muffled voices and tinkle of metal against porcelain. Eggsy had obviously went from the train straight to the agent tea room. “Goodbye Galahad.” 

“Bye Merlin.”

Merlin threw caution to the wind and pulled the bottle out of the gift bag. A 16 year old bottle of Lagavulin. Nice. Not the usual 18 year old Magellan that Harry always got him for Christmas, but from what he’d read it was a nice bottle of scotch. Something you didn’t feel you had to save for a special occasion, but still a very nice drink. Once he investigated the bottle’s seal further, he would enjoy this.

>@<>@<>@<>@<>@<>@<

Eggsy carried his cuppa into his office with the plan to enjoy it as he checked his email on his desktop. He made it to his desk chair before noticing the wrapped box on his desk. It was wrapped festively in red and white striped paper, a curly red bow on the top.

Eggsy took a moment to look for a gift tag or anything to indicate where the package had come from before tearing into the present. He opened the long narrow box to find the trio of new ties he had been drooling over in Andrew’s holiday window display. He studied the works of silk art and smiled. 

Eggsy tapped the side of his Kingsman glasses in the pattern to get Merlin. “Thank you for my ties.” He said sweetly when it connected.

Merlin was silent a moment as he took in the ties, gift box, and wrapping. “I dinnae give ye those ties Eggsy.”

“You didn’t?”

“Nay lad, I dinnae.” Merlin shook his head. This was getting weirder and weirder. “But that wrapping looks an awful lot like the wrapping on my bottle of scotch.”

“What the fucks going on Hamish?” Eggsy asked his boyfriend, equally perplexed.

“I dinnae ken.” Merlin admitted his ignorance. He had been so sure when it had been his mystery gift. Unless this was part of Eggsy’s elaborate plan. “Galahad.”

Eggsy rolled his eyes, wishing Merlin could see it. “Sorry Merlin.”

“Let me see what I can find out.” Merlin would ask around. He wasn’t so convinced he had the answer that he wouldn’t look elsewhere as well.

During the rest of Eggsy’s day he would get cryptic little message from his quartermaster/lover. 

“It wasn’t Jane down in HR. Ms. Eyre said I must be out of my mind.”

“Charles Bingley in the machine shop applauded my reasoning but has no idea what I was talking about.”

“I managed to get that pesto recipe I had been after, but Beth March in the kitchen is also a no for our ‘Secret Santa’”. 

>@<>@<>@<>@<>@<>@<

This went on for the rest of the week.

Tuesday Merlin received a box set from the ridiculously luxurious, but insanely pricey skin care line he worshiped. 100% ethically sourced. Yet able to keep the skin on his face and his head, the skin he shaved twice a day every work day, clean, moisturized, and if he could say so himself… glowing. At least enough to keep the attraction of his younger boyfriend. Who always took great joy in the feel of his skin.

While Eggsy received an executive chess set for his office with marble pieces and a raw olive wood board. The young agent had been encouraged to take up the game to practice strategy, foresight, and planning. He had taken to the process and now truly enjoyed the challenge of a thinking man’s game.

Wednesday brought Merlin an authentic quaich. A beautiful Scottish drinking cup made from silver with the two handles on opposite sides containing the same Celtic knot work that Merlin himself had on the top of his bicep. The quaich was traditionally used to offer guests a welcome or farewell drink in Scotland. It was something Merlin’s grandmother had always kept on hand. Something he had often wished he had his own version of.

Wednesday brought Eggsy a present that ended up forcing him to take a sick day. A simple, yet elegant, 12 page photo book filled with mostly candid training photos, but two or three staged group shots of his father and fellow candidates during their bid to be Lancelot. Eggsy had stared in rapturous awe at each and every photo twice before sending a quick email to Arthur and Merlin announcing his need for a personal day. Oddly enough Arthur had been very understanding despite Eggsy’s flimsy explanation.

Thursday was Merlin’s first taste of ‘Molly MacGregors Homemade Scottish Shortbread’, patent pending, in over 25 years. It tasted just the same. He would not share.

Eggsy received a collection of his favorite gummy candies so large and so varied he knew it would be a fortnight of snacking before he finished even half of it.

Friday was gifts for their offices. A potted heather shrub, it’s lovely soft purple the perfect contrast to the industrial green of Merlin’s office. And a framed print from the 1964 movie adaptation of My Fair Lady for Eggsy’s wall.

And still Merlin -and sometimes Eggsy- tried to discover who was offering these delightful and personal gifts. He had a list he was going through, but it was slowly getting checked off one by one. Bennet to Darcy. Knightley to Woodhouse. Andrews to Rochester. All staff members were being struck from the list leading Merlin to become further frustrated. All while pulling up the surveillance in the agents corridor to keep an eye on whether or not his agent was sneaking around with gift bags.

>@<>@<>@<>@<>@<>@<

Sunday morning found Eggsy and Merlin laying in their bed, legs tangled, both up on one elbow as they faced each other talking.

“I still can’t believe you wouldn’t share that shortbread with me.” Eggsy laughed. The hand not holding him up smoothed a gentle thumb along Merlin’s perfect cheekbone, obsessed with the velvety skin there. “Not even one little piece?”

Merlin leaned into the touch, enjoying the quiet moments to relax and be with Eggsy. “Nae lad. I’d sooner share the last of my air then those biscuits.”

Eggsy laughed more heartily. “Meanie!” But there was no sting in the words as he stole a kiss from Merlin.

Merlin spent a few moments indulging in the uncomplicated sweet kisses with his boyfriend before stretching and leaving the bed. “We have nae planned anything for today. We could try a few recipes I’ve collected over the years that claim to be as good as Molly’s.”

Eggsy sat up in bed, covers pooling in his lap. “You want to make shortbread with me on your day off?”

Merlin could hear the touch of awe in Eggsy’s voice. He simply nodded.

“Can we make cocoa?”Eggsy asked. “I remember my dad’s mum coming over to our flat and baking shortbread with me. My mum would always make cocoa.”

Merlin his his face splitting grin from Eggsy. “Aye. I think we have some.”

>@<>@<>@<>@<>@<>@<

Roxy dragged her uncle into Arthur’s office and slammed the door behind them. “Did you see? Did you?”

Percival wrenched his arm at of his niece’s surprisingly intense grasp. He smoothed the wrinkles out of his suit jacket sleeve. “Did we see what?”

“The biscuits?” Harry asked, watching the two uninvited visitors in his domain.

Roxy clapped her hands over her head so loudly it echoed all over the room. “Yes! They made biscuits! They spent their weekend making biscuits! Some even have red and green sugar crystals on them!”

Percival looked at Harry for an explanation.

Harry smiled at his dear friend. “I believe that Roxy is indicating that Merlin and Eggsy have partaken in a typical seasonal activity. Something that they have not done before. And therefore perhaps our scheme is working.”

“You got all of that from what she said?” Percival questioned.

Harry blew a breath on his nails and buffed them on his suit jacket.

The buoyantly happy Lancelot ignored the other two in favor of dancing around. “It’s working! It’s working!”

>@<>@<>@<>@<>@<>@<

The next week brought more unique gifts. 

Merlin had a new cashmere scarf in his Da’s family plaid, chocolate covered espresso beans, a resin paperweight perfectly preserving a piece of Scots pine and a thistle, a hand thrown stoneware mug, and best of all, a new Arsenal footie jumper.

Eggsy received new designer trainers from Fendi, a resin paperweight with a perfectly preserved daisy flower, the latest one person shooter for PS4, a gourmet pub snack basket from Knack, and best of all, a Wanto 3L Track Jacket from Adidas.

Merlin’s office had a string of lights around the ceiling. For better visuals of course. All of the R&D department followed suit.

Eggsy’s hung mistletoe in his door way and cackled mirthfully when he caught co-workers standing underneath it unknowingly together. Even if his success rate at making them kiss was only around 10%. It was so worth it to Eggsy.

Roxy was ecstatic. Harry was amused. Percival was running out of gift ideas. But they all felt accomplished.

Harry and Percival dragged Merlin to lunch on Saturday near some popular shopping spot and Merlin ended up finding an uncomplicatedly modern wreath that was so elegant he was unable to resist purchasing it for their front door.

Roxy joined Daisy and Eggsy for a jaunt through a Christmas Village to get a picture with Father Christmas. She was able to subtly encourage Daisy to bluntly demand that her brother buy a tall skinny pine tree that would just fit in the corner of their sitting room near the fireplace.

The final gift the two men received was on Monday the 23rd. It was an invitation to celebrate the season that evening at 6:00. The world dissolving into chaos was the only acceptable excuse for being late. The only odd part was the address on the invitation was there own.

>@<>@<>@<>@<>@<>@<

Eggsy and Merlin stood nervously on their own front stoop. They had snooped around headquarters hoping to be able to narrow down who was behind this all based on who had left early. But truth be told Kingman was damned near deserted when they left.

They heard movement inside, some holiday music, but no actual voices. They could smell something wonderful, rich and well seasoned. They’re stomachs growled.

So they grabbed hands and entered their own home.

They were quickly greeted by Roxy, Harry, and Percival. 

“Surprise!” Roxy squealed. The other two just smiled and handed the men a glass of champagne.

“It was you 3?” Eggsy gasped.

“There is no way!” Merlin exclaimed. “I’ve had you all under surveillance and have questioned you all multiple times!”

“Well trained, seasoned agents.” Percival insisted.

Merlin scoffed. “How did I not catch you?”

“You didn’t check the camera.” Harry stayed plainly.

“I did! It always showed the secretaries dropping off the gifts! When I asked them, they both said they were in the mail room when they came in the morning.” Merlin was close to a strop and quickly drained his glass of bubbly.

They were led into their own dining room where a full, proper dinner was laid out on their best China and tablecloth.

They were seated and enjoying the meal when Harry asked. “Why didn’t you check the camera outside the mailroom?”

Roxy chuckled maniacally and Percival looked disappointed in them both.

“You didn’t check the bloody cameras outside the mailroom??” Eggsy accused. He picked up a half eaten dinner roll and threw it at Merlin.

Merlin let the roll hit him dead center of his forehead.l and roll away. He was so taken back. “Why didn’t I check the cameras outside the mailroom?”

The reigning theory by the time dessert was over was that they didn’t really want to know who it was and spoil the fun. Merlin was afraid to agree.

The threesome helped Eggsy decorate the tree while Merlin did the dishes. He insisted that after all the work the others had done, he would handle clean up. Eggsy thanked them through massive squeezing hugs and plenty of platonic kisses.

By the time Merlin joined them in the drawing room there were pine boughs on the mantle, the skinny tree in a stand with a skirt, and muted rainbow lights twinkling everywhere. It really was magical. Merlin definitely did not tear up. Eggsy did.

The piece de resistance was when Roxy presented them with two stockings of their own that they hung over the fireplace with Daisy’s.

And you can bet Rudolph’s red nose those stockings were filled two days later. Never let it be said Eggsy and Merlin can’t learn.

>@<>@<>@<>@<>@<>@<

The next holiday season Harry proposed a Secret Santa game for anyone who wanted to partake. 24 days of little surprises. It was a huge hit and even bigger morale builder.

Percival guessed his gifts were coming from Eggsy on Day 3. But he still enjoyed all of them immensely.

Even Merlin participated. He made Roxy’s life hell guessing who had her name.

When the 23rd came around Eggsy and Merlin invited their friends over for another dinner and decorating party.

And it was a dinner party that became a tradition. A tradition that continues today.

The end.


End file.
